Why your IN LAWS never seemed to click?

Before you start reading this passage, do mental calculations on how many families you know of that consist of 3 generations living under one roof? For instance, it consists of the grandparents, the parent and the grandchildren.

Next, ask yourself if you ever want to live with your parents when you are married. Ever came across people telling you that your mum not getting alone fine with your grandmother? Or heard phrases like “I’ll never live with my parents when I’m married” Statistics have shown that majority of newly wed couples chose to live away from their parents when their parents.

This might be my stereotyped opinion on relationships between in laws but I traced back to previous generations and it was proved that this hypothesis is indeed true or a high probability that the in laws can never get together.

A good friend of mine is bothered by the fact that his girlfriend and his mum can’t get along. He can neither neglect both feelings as both are equally important to him. I asked him why and his answer was “My mother doesn’t like her”. What is it that your mum dosen’t like about her? “I don’t know”.

People can’t get along for millions of reasons. But ultimately we know that behind every action, there’s a reason. So what’s the reason behind it? Is the mother in law finding fault with her daughter in law or does the problem lies with the daughter in law. Perhaps the daughter in law finds her mother in law too naggy or perhaps it’s a communication problem. Why the son is always stuck in the middle. Generations after generation, people fail to discover the truth behind this phenomenon.

The reason is simple! The problem actually lies with the SON! You must be thinking, what the son has got to do with it by standing neutral all the time? Is it because of his indecisiveness? Or because of his insensitivity? Probably true, but understanding the crux of the matter will further explain what has the SON got to do with the mess he has created subconsciously.

Any mother in this world would have experienced the pain and joy of giving birth. The pain could be excruciating and the overwhelming joy. It’s hard to imagine the nine month period of confinement without going through it. The average age that people get married in this generation is between 25-30 years old.

Literally, that means that your mother would have taken care of you for the next 25 years on an average. Anybody that has watched “I NOT STUPID” would know the pain that parents have to go through on the education aspect. However, parents are the greatest provider on earth. Besides education, they also provides love and care which money cannot buy.

You enjoy a healthy relationship with your parents. Every decision you take, you consult your parents. Your parents enjoy being the mentor and proud that finally you’re grown up. My point is that parents take great pain to bring a child up. So what has my point got to the crux of the problem?

Then the second woman comes into your life. You fall madly in love and decides to get married one day. Your world becomes so much more vibrant. Everything evolves around the both of you. You must be thinking, “what’s the problem?” My answer is, “That’s the beginning of the problem”

The son, let’s name him John.
The mother, let’s name her Auntie Susan
The daughter in law lets name her Suzy.

The reason why Susan and Suzy can never get along and problem will only start to surface when they get married simply because John failed to make Auntie Susan feel like she’s her most important woman in his life once he’s married.

The next exercise I would like you to do is do a mental calculation on the number of time you have a meal with your folks. My assumption is that your time would be probably spent with your girlfriend on weekends. Next, who do put in more effort for to impress? My assumption is that you will rather spend 10 hours doing a jigsaw puzzle to impress your girlfriend, rather than spending 1 hour more to study for your test, so that your results may impress your parents. Lastly who do you spend more money on? My assumption is that you would rather save up $500 to spend a diamond ring for your girlfriend, rather than spending $50 to buy your mum a new handbag that she has used for ages.

Of course this is not stereotyping but my pure assumptions. I’m sure there’re filial guys out there who balance things really well. My point is that Susan takes great pains to bring John up, but at the end of the day, if you measure penny for penny, John seems to be treating Suzy better than Susan. The problem partially is due to opportunity costs. We all learn from economics that there are opportunity costs in every decision we make. Some might argue that you can’t compare apple with orange and at the end of the day, its your wife that live with you for the rest of your life and not your mother.

Whatever people say, as long as their wife and their mother can live in peace, I rest my case. How about those that can’t? Thou shall reveal the solution.

Make your mother feel like she’s the most important person in your life

Which category do you fall under?

1) Save the Mother but drop the Wife.
2) Keep it afloat. Race as a dragon boat racing team.
3) Who to save when the boat capsized? Mother or Wife?
4) Save the Wife but drop the Mother.

You are a filial son, save your mother and find another girlfriend.
If you are so in love with your girlfriend, save her and ask you father to remarry.
Cheers!

Economics and Happiness

CORRELATION ANALYSIS BETWEEN ECONOMICS AND HAPPINESS

In other words it means the similarity between economics and happiness

Have u ever asked your economics teacher why everybody can’t be rich? I asked! He answered simply, because not everybody puts in the same effort! I deduced that there’re 4 different types of people. The hardworking ones, the lazy ones, the lucky ones and the unlucky ones.

If you belong to the hardworking or the lucky category, probability is that you are safe. Keep all factors constant. Ceteris paribus, you might be financial sound or financially comfortable.

However, if you belong to the lazy and the unlucky ones, it does not take a genius to realize that you’re going to face with problems such as debts, unemployment or bankruptcy.

Therefore not everybody can be rich! Simple as ABC! I shall not going to the theory of communism (Theory of equality), meaning everybody can receive equal financial status).

Okay! Now I’m going into the theory of WHY not everybody can be happy? I asked my friend once. She said she do’t know! I remember what my economics teacher said and I deduced that simply, because not everybody puts in the same effort. Like wise, there’re 4 different types of people, the hardworking ones, the lazy ones, the lucky ones and the unlucky ones.

Allow me to explain. The hardworking ones are the optimistic type. Whatever shit happens, they forget about it the next day, find new goals and move on with life.

The lazy ones are the pessimistic type. They cry over day and night thinking nothings ever going to work out and everything’s in the world is turning against them.

The lucky ones are the lucky ones. Obviously they always have something to be happy about. Maybe, buy 4D strike 4D. Born bright! Play all night buy score As. Born good looking, the type that everyone wants to take a picture of suck up to you or be your friend. As for the last type, the unlucky ones, shit happens every time they try to move on. Some misunderstanding happens between friends, family or colleagues. Every time they want to move on, they will be pilled by troubles and problems awaiting for them to solve.

But at the end of the day, we all know that everybody wants to be rich and happy and it all depends on the effort we put in. We might not be lucky, but as long as we’re not lazy in this 2 aspects, we might be happy one fine day! Nobody has the obligation to make us happy or rich. We have to find the reason of living the lifestyle we want to lead or what exactly drives us or make us happy. I thought of 5 rules of happiness

Happiness has an expiry date
When it expired, renewed it
It might be lost
When you lost it, find it back
We have to work for it

Hardworking but no luck
(Keep going. Every dog will have their day when the luck struck)

Hardworking & Lucky
(You have the whole world with you. Keep it up)

Lazy & Unlucky
(The world does not need you neither do you need the world. Do not know why you still exist)

Lazy but Lucky
(Count your lucky star. Pray hard every day, every hour, every minute and every second before it disappeared)

Correlation Analysis Between Friends and Academic Studies

The difference in thoughts and perceptions cause actions that one might take and not because of events which took place.

From dinosaur age to this world we live in today, we face this problem called categorization. Centuries ago, humans are categorized by social classes. If you are born poor, you naturally belong to the lower class, whereas if you are born wealthy you’ll belong to the upper class. Although one has no choice on whether which class you wish to born into, there are norms that people from different classes cannot associate with each other not to mention getting married. This is especially so as people from the lower class will always be labeled as slaves and people from the upper class is labeled as nobles.

Although we do not face this problem in the world we live in today, we are not spared by this categorization problem. Children are put through many tests ever since they enter school. From spelling tests, to streaming to PSLE to GCE O LEVELS and the list goes on. So why are tests important? We all agree that it is to categorized different people with different capabilities together so as to work and excel at their own pace. There are different categorizations such as Express Stream, Normal Stream in secondary school. And when we grow up, we have the white collar workers and the blue collar workers.

This brings me to my point of friends. There are also categorizations involved such as acquaintances, confidants, enemies and the list goes on. So what has these different categorizations have to do on how we perceive things? To be categorized as whether two people are acquaintances, friends or enemy, it is similar to the tests we take in school. So how are these variables able to correlates with each other?

When we first study a subject, the outcome of it is you either fell in love with or simple have no interest in it. For instance, I fell in love in this subject called Mathematics in secondary school. Each subject just like friends, is unique in its own way and because of this affinity, it leads people to different paths in life. For instance, you have a choice of taking either history or geography in secondary 2 and this choice might lead you to whichever specialization you pursue in the university or even which career path you take in the future. In this case, if I was crazy about this subject, I might have pursued in Further Mathematics in JC or become a Mathematician in the near future.

How about looking at it from another angle? The acquaintances that we meet everyday, confidants that we make for a lifetime shares similar instances as the subjects we take in schools. Look at it this way, when you first come into a new class or meet a new group of people, intuitively, you will begin to classify these people either based on their looks, they way they speak, their character or special traits which we call X FACTOR. Similar to a subject that you are interested in, you spend more time reading about it, studying it, doing research and usually your topic revolves around this subject.

Same goes as making friends. You take the initiatives to create conversations, organize outings etc. However, when we make friends, they also have to go through this thing called categorization. So how is this done? Some people categorized it by the amount of time they knew each other, whereas others categorized by the amount of time you spent with each other. Let say, I’m always going out with this particular friend. That particular friend of yours might be your confidant because you known that particular person for the longest period of time.

So how do we know whether this person next to you could be your Confidant or whether this subject (Mathematics) that you are interested in could be your best subject that you excel in? The answer is of course, test! In order to claim that I love Mathematics and it is my best subject/friend, I have to be graded, tested through all the exams and shit respectively. As for “friends” we go through this test called the “TURBULENCE PERIOD” This test implies different things to different people but as the going goes, “only through hardships, you can see true friendship”. Same goes for studying for a Mathematics exam. You make countless of mistakes and practice before you finally balance the equation and solve the puzzle. However, because of this love for the subject, you believe that doing well for this subject would do you good in the future; you are willing to make the mistake so as to get to know the subject better.

How different it is from making friends? You talk and discussed points or argue on topics that never seem to agree upon. There are at times when you refuse to speak to that person because your point, does that get across, which is also similar to solving a Mathematics equation. You might have tried ways and means to crack this puzzle and most of the time you just leave the question blank and move on. The opportunity cost of misunderstanding that question might have been a costly one. It might change the love for that subject or even change the entry point to your next stage in life. Making mistakes is part and parcel of learning and it is the responsibility to clear up any doubts that separates a A student and a B student.

Same goes for friends. How many “BEST OF FRIENDS” never quarreled or went through a major disagreement or to a extent cold war or hot war because they can claim that they are “BEST OF FRIENDS” However, it is this tests that people avoids which distinct the differences between an acquaintance and a confidant. One might argue that a subject is stagnant whereas a human being is a living thing which can change. This complication usually sets in when we have this guarantee known as “PROMISE” Do you remember the last time you promise your teacher you will not be late for school or promise your parents that you would obtain a better grade for your next test? So how is this different from the promise you make to your peers. My point is that it takes both hands to clap. When you promise the subject that you’ll do well and target for a score let say “70” marks. How would you feel when you break that promise and fall short of that mark? Naturally you feel disappointed. However, many people fail to see that quarrels and broken promises within friends are part and parcel of getting to know each other better so as to distinct between a friend and a confidant eventually. Ironically. it is this test which we all avoid when it comes to improving relationships.

My next question is “Which is more complicated?”
A) A very chim maths equation
B) Human relationship

My next question is “Which would you value more?”
A) Academic subject
B) Friends

I’m certain that both your answer correspond with each other. But it’s a pity that we are willing to make more mistakes for that subject whom we all claimed that is stagnant rather than invest more time in our friendship. I mean come on, who in the world gets it right the first time? Would you claim he is your best friend without going through shit? As the going goes” Nothing is proven until tested”

The complexity of the mind brings me to my second point. The common flaw in all of us today is that we fail to look at things simple but tend to complicate matters. I once heard this. It is literally impossible for the opposite sex to maintain a platonic relationship. Well, my answer to this is not because of lust or getting confused and all that shit but because of the difference between the psyche behind the man and the woman. In this case, man always has to tendency to overlook on certain matters, whereas woman has the tendency on looking too much into one matter. Because of this difference, there’s a need to think simple so as to balance this so called “equation”.

Believe it or not, people always invest time and money on complicated stuff, but few knew the power of simplicity. When the Americans invested millions of dollars in developing a pen than can work in space, they have to produce a system whereby ink can flow under O Gravitational force. However, the Russians made use of this simple tool called the pencil. KISS (Keep It Simple and Stupid). Know your destination. Be focus.