The difference in thoughts and perceptions cause actions that one might take and not because of events which took place.
From dinosaur age to this world we live in today, we face this problem called categorization. Centuries ago, humans are categorized by social classes. If you are born poor, you naturally belong to the lower class, whereas if you are born wealthy you’ll belong to the upper class. Although one has no choice on whether which class you wish to born into, there are norms that people from different classes cannot associate with each other not to mention getting married. This is especially so as people from the lower class will always be labeled as slaves and people from the upper class is labeled as nobles.
Although we do not face this problem in the world we live in today, we are not spared by this categorization problem. Children are put through many tests ever since they enter school. From spelling tests, to streaming to PSLE to GCE O LEVELS and the list goes on. So why are tests important? We all agree that it is to categorized different people with different capabilities together so as to work and excel at their own pace. There are different categorizations such as Express Stream, Normal Stream in secondary school. And when we grow up, we have the white collar workers and the blue collar workers.
This brings me to my point of friends. There are also categorizations involved such as acquaintances, confidants, enemies and the list goes on. So what has these different categorizations have to do on how we perceive things? To be categorized as whether two people are acquaintances, friends or enemy, it is similar to the tests we take in school. So how are these variables able to correlates with each other?
When we first study a subject, the outcome of it is you either fell in love with or simple have no interest in it. For instance, I fell in love in this subject called Mathematics in secondary school. Each subject just like friends, is unique in its own way and because of this affinity, it leads people to different paths in life. For instance, you have a choice of taking either history or geography in secondary 2 and this choice might lead you to whichever specialization you pursue in the university or even which career path you take in the future. In this case, if I was crazy about this subject, I might have pursued in Further Mathematics in JC or become a Mathematician in the near future.
How about looking at it from another angle? The acquaintances that we meet everyday, confidants that we make for a lifetime shares similar instances as the subjects we take in schools. Look at it this way, when you first come into a new class or meet a new group of people, intuitively, you will begin to classify these people either based on their looks, they way they speak, their character or special traits which we call X FACTOR. Similar to a subject that you are interested in, you spend more time reading about it, studying it, doing research and usually your topic revolves around this subject.
Same goes as making friends. You take the initiatives to create conversations, organize outings etc. However, when we make friends, they also have to go through this thing called categorization. So how is this done? Some people categorized it by the amount of time they knew each other, whereas others categorized by the amount of time you spent with each other. Let say, I’m always going out with this particular friend. That particular friend of yours might be your confidant because you known that particular person for the longest period of time.
So how do we know whether this person next to you could be your Confidant or whether this subject (Mathematics) that you are interested in could be your best subject that you excel in? The answer is of course, test! In order to claim that I love Mathematics and it is my best subject/friend, I have to be graded, tested through all the exams and shit respectively. As for “friends” we go through this test called the “TURBULENCE PERIOD” This test implies different things to different people but as the going goes, “only through hardships, you can see true friendship”. Same goes for studying for a Mathematics exam. You make countless of mistakes and practice before you finally balance the equation and solve the puzzle. However, because of this love for the subject, you believe that doing well for this subject would do you good in the future; you are willing to make the mistake so as to get to know the subject better.
How different it is from making friends? You talk and discussed points or argue on topics that never seem to agree upon. There are at times when you refuse to speak to that person because your point, does that get across, which is also similar to solving a Mathematics equation. You might have tried ways and means to crack this puzzle and most of the time you just leave the question blank and move on. The opportunity cost of misunderstanding that question might have been a costly one. It might change the love for that subject or even change the entry point to your next stage in life. Making mistakes is part and parcel of learning and it is the responsibility to clear up any doubts that separates a A student and a B student.
Same goes for friends. How many “BEST OF FRIENDS” never quarreled or went through a major disagreement or to a extent cold war or hot war because they can claim that they are “BEST OF FRIENDS” However, it is this tests that people avoids which distinct the differences between an acquaintance and a confidant. One might argue that a subject is stagnant whereas a human being is a living thing which can change. This complication usually sets in when we have this guarantee known as “PROMISE” Do you remember the last time you promise your teacher you will not be late for school or promise your parents that you would obtain a better grade for your next test? So how is this different from the promise you make to your peers. My point is that it takes both hands to clap. When you promise the subject that you’ll do well and target for a score let say “70” marks. How would you feel when you break that promise and fall short of that mark? Naturally you feel disappointed. However, many people fail to see that quarrels and broken promises within friends are part and parcel of getting to know each other better so as to distinct between a friend and a confidant eventually. Ironically. it is this test which we all avoid when it comes to improving relationships.
My next question is “Which is more complicated?”
A) A very chim maths equation
B) Human relationship
My next question is “Which would you value more?”
A) Academic subject
B) Friends
I’m certain that both your answer correspond with each other. But it’s a pity that we are willing to make more mistakes for that subject whom we all claimed that is stagnant rather than invest more time in our friendship. I mean come on, who in the world gets it right the first time? Would you claim he is your best friend without going through shit? As the going goes” Nothing is proven until tested”
The complexity of the mind brings me to my second point. The common flaw in all of us today is that we fail to look at things simple but tend to complicate matters. I once heard this. It is literally impossible for the opposite sex to maintain a platonic relationship. Well, my answer to this is not because of lust or getting confused and all that shit but because of the difference between the psyche behind the man and the woman. In this case, man always has to tendency to overlook on certain matters, whereas woman has the tendency on looking too much into one matter. Because of this difference, there’s a need to think simple so as to balance this so called “equation”.
Believe it or not, people always invest time and money on complicated stuff, but few knew the power of simplicity. When the Americans invested millions of dollars in developing a pen than can work in space, they have to produce a system whereby ink can flow under O Gravitational force. However, the Russians made use of this simple tool called the pencil. KISS (Keep It Simple and Stupid). Know your destination. Be focus.
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