Before you start reading this passage, do mental calculations on how many families you know of that consist of 3 generations living under one roof? For instance, it consists of the grandparents, the parent and the grandchildren.
Next, ask yourself if you ever want to live with your parents when you are married. Ever came across people telling you that your mum not getting alone fine with your grandmother? Or heard phrases like “I’ll never live with my parents when I’m married” Statistics have shown that majority of newly wed couples chose to live away from their parents when their parents.
This might be my stereotyped opinion on relationships between in laws but I traced back to previous generations and it was proved that this hypothesis is indeed true or a high probability that the in laws can never get together.
A good friend of mine is bothered by the fact that his girlfriend and his mum can’t get along. He can neither neglect both feelings as both are equally important to him. I asked him why and his answer was “My mother doesn’t like her”. What is it that your mum dosen’t like about her? “I don’t know”.
People can’t get along for millions of reasons. But ultimately we know that behind every action, there’s a reason. So what’s the reason behind it? Is the mother in law finding fault with her daughter in law or does the problem lies with the daughter in law. Perhaps the daughter in law finds her mother in law too naggy or perhaps it’s a communication problem. Why the son is always stuck in the middle. Generations after generation, people fail to discover the truth behind this phenomenon.
The reason is simple! The problem actually lies with the SON! You must be thinking, what the son has got to do with it by standing neutral all the time? Is it because of his indecisiveness? Or because of his insensitivity? Probably true, but understanding the crux of the matter will further explain what has the SON got to do with the mess he has created subconsciously.
Any mother in this world would have experienced the pain and joy of giving birth. The pain could be excruciating and the overwhelming joy. It’s hard to imagine the nine month period of confinement without going through it. The average age that people get married in this generation is between 25-30 years old.
Literally, that means that your mother would have taken care of you for the next 25 years on an average. Anybody that has watched “I NOT STUPID” would know the pain that parents have to go through on the education aspect. However, parents are the greatest provider on earth. Besides education, they also provides love and care which money cannot buy.
You enjoy a healthy relationship with your parents. Every decision you take, you consult your parents. Your parents enjoy being the mentor and proud that finally you’re grown up. My point is that parents take great pain to bring a child up. So what has my point got to the crux of the problem?
Then the second woman comes into your life. You fall madly in love and decides to get married one day. Your world becomes so much more vibrant. Everything evolves around the both of you. You must be thinking, “what’s the problem?” My answer is, “That’s the beginning of the problem”
The son, let’s name him John.
The mother, let’s name her Auntie Susan
The daughter in law lets name her Suzy.
The reason why Susan and Suzy can never get along and problem will only start to surface when they get married simply because John failed to make Auntie Susan feel like she’s her most important woman in his life once he’s married.
The next exercise I would like you to do is do a mental calculation on the number of time you have a meal with your folks. My assumption is that your time would be probably spent with your girlfriend on weekends. Next, who do put in more effort for to impress? My assumption is that you will rather spend 10 hours doing a jigsaw puzzle to impress your girlfriend, rather than spending 1 hour more to study for your test, so that your results may impress your parents. Lastly who do you spend more money on? My assumption is that you would rather save up $500 to spend a diamond ring for your girlfriend, rather than spending $50 to buy your mum a new handbag that she has used for ages.
Of course this is not stereotyping but my pure assumptions. I’m sure there’re filial guys out there who balance things really well. My point is that Susan takes great pains to bring John up, but at the end of the day, if you measure penny for penny, John seems to be treating Suzy better than Susan. The problem partially is due to opportunity costs. We all learn from economics that there are opportunity costs in every decision we make. Some might argue that you can’t compare apple with orange and at the end of the day, its your wife that live with you for the rest of your life and not your mother.
Whatever people say, as long as their wife and their mother can live in peace, I rest my case. How about those that can’t? Thou shall reveal the solution.
Make your mother feel like she’s the most important person in your life
Which category do you fall under?
1) Save the Mother but drop the Wife.
2) Keep it afloat. Race as a dragon boat racing team.
3) Who to save when the boat capsized? Mother or Wife?
4) Save the Wife but drop the Mother.
You are a filial son, save your mother and find another girlfriend.
If you are so in love with your girlfriend, save her and ask you father to remarry.
Cheers!
Next, ask yourself if you ever want to live with your parents when you are married. Ever came across people telling you that your mum not getting alone fine with your grandmother? Or heard phrases like “I’ll never live with my parents when I’m married” Statistics have shown that majority of newly wed couples chose to live away from their parents when their parents.
This might be my stereotyped opinion on relationships between in laws but I traced back to previous generations and it was proved that this hypothesis is indeed true or a high probability that the in laws can never get together.
A good friend of mine is bothered by the fact that his girlfriend and his mum can’t get along. He can neither neglect both feelings as both are equally important to him. I asked him why and his answer was “My mother doesn’t like her”. What is it that your mum dosen’t like about her? “I don’t know”.
People can’t get along for millions of reasons. But ultimately we know that behind every action, there’s a reason. So what’s the reason behind it? Is the mother in law finding fault with her daughter in law or does the problem lies with the daughter in law. Perhaps the daughter in law finds her mother in law too naggy or perhaps it’s a communication problem. Why the son is always stuck in the middle. Generations after generation, people fail to discover the truth behind this phenomenon.
The reason is simple! The problem actually lies with the SON! You must be thinking, what the son has got to do with it by standing neutral all the time? Is it because of his indecisiveness? Or because of his insensitivity? Probably true, but understanding the crux of the matter will further explain what has the SON got to do with the mess he has created subconsciously.
Any mother in this world would have experienced the pain and joy of giving birth. The pain could be excruciating and the overwhelming joy. It’s hard to imagine the nine month period of confinement without going through it. The average age that people get married in this generation is between 25-30 years old.
Literally, that means that your mother would have taken care of you for the next 25 years on an average. Anybody that has watched “I NOT STUPID” would know the pain that parents have to go through on the education aspect. However, parents are the greatest provider on earth. Besides education, they also provides love and care which money cannot buy.
You enjoy a healthy relationship with your parents. Every decision you take, you consult your parents. Your parents enjoy being the mentor and proud that finally you’re grown up. My point is that parents take great pain to bring a child up. So what has my point got to the crux of the problem?
Then the second woman comes into your life. You fall madly in love and decides to get married one day. Your world becomes so much more vibrant. Everything evolves around the both of you. You must be thinking, “what’s the problem?” My answer is, “That’s the beginning of the problem”
The son, let’s name him John.
The mother, let’s name her Auntie Susan
The daughter in law lets name her Suzy.
The reason why Susan and Suzy can never get along and problem will only start to surface when they get married simply because John failed to make Auntie Susan feel like she’s her most important woman in his life once he’s married.
The next exercise I would like you to do is do a mental calculation on the number of time you have a meal with your folks. My assumption is that your time would be probably spent with your girlfriend on weekends. Next, who do put in more effort for to impress? My assumption is that you will rather spend 10 hours doing a jigsaw puzzle to impress your girlfriend, rather than spending 1 hour more to study for your test, so that your results may impress your parents. Lastly who do you spend more money on? My assumption is that you would rather save up $500 to spend a diamond ring for your girlfriend, rather than spending $50 to buy your mum a new handbag that she has used for ages.
Of course this is not stereotyping but my pure assumptions. I’m sure there’re filial guys out there who balance things really well. My point is that Susan takes great pains to bring John up, but at the end of the day, if you measure penny for penny, John seems to be treating Suzy better than Susan. The problem partially is due to opportunity costs. We all learn from economics that there are opportunity costs in every decision we make. Some might argue that you can’t compare apple with orange and at the end of the day, its your wife that live with you for the rest of your life and not your mother.
Whatever people say, as long as their wife and their mother can live in peace, I rest my case. How about those that can’t? Thou shall reveal the solution.
Make your mother feel like she’s the most important person in your life
Which category do you fall under?
1) Save the Mother but drop the Wife.
2) Keep it afloat. Race as a dragon boat racing team.
3) Who to save when the boat capsized? Mother or Wife?
4) Save the Wife but drop the Mother.
You are a filial son, save your mother and find another girlfriend.
If you are so in love with your girlfriend, save her and ask you father to remarry.
Cheers!
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